Thursday, August 28, 2008

A better son/daughter

Sometimes in the morning i am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs i know i can't breath
And hope someone will help me this time
Your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that God never blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying

And sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along and they love you
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be be better and you'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter
Or son and a real good friend
And you'll be awake and you'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest you'll be brave
You'll be handsome you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them...

every cloud has a silver lining... even if it's hard to see. i really need to remember that.

weak but not giving in.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

he doesn't look a thing like jesus

but he talks like a gentlemen... like you imagined him
The Killers... Sam's Town specifically reminds me of when I lived in LA. I'm not sure that CD ever left my car. EVER.

seriously... I have had cobra starship stuck in my head since last wednesday.. a week ago actually! AHHHH!!! It's too catchy!

We did the whole warped tour thing a few times last week. I suppose this is the part where I brag about being backstage. Well that was me bragging. It's really not that cool. haha
Anyway... It was a neat experience over all. Sig and I spent a lot of time thinking about marketing strategies and figuring out what it would take to get on the tour next year. It is an awesome feeling to realize that something that used to seem way too big and scary is suddenly obtainable. If not by next year... the year after.

I've been working my ass off lately and getting a lot done. I might not be showing amazing, impressive results to the rest of the world yet, but that's ok. I chose to start something new and do it myself instead of trying to align myself with someone else. It's a lot of hard work with little result right now, but it will all pay off soon.

not to mention, creating something yourself feels great too.
well i can't really say "myself"... Nick and Troy are a huge part of my motivation and drive. So is Sig believe it or not haha.

I went to bed the other night with an overwhelming feeling of contentment. I came home late on Sunday night from seeing Portugal and visiting Ashley and Mike was already asleep. I just laid in bed for a minute and thought of how my life could have been if I didn't make the choice
I did..... and how happy I was that my life is what it is. I just laid there for a while and enjoyed the feeling of peace. I know it doesn't last long... I KNEW it wouldn't... but it was nice while it was there.

School starts on Monday. Yes I'm going back. Working on my business degree so at least it will be somewhat useful. HA. It's free. Might as well.

The weather in Sacramento has been beautiful the past fe
w days. It reminds me of fall. I love fall. It is easily my favorite season. It makes me feel creative. I've also been designing again. Random, I know... but it's nice to be at least a little bit artistic once in a while.

Ok. I'm going to eat breakfast now. Thanks for reading .


i love this city.

Monday, August 11, 2008

i really don't have much to say

we're re decorating our living room

i've been super busy

and i'm tired

OH and Mike and I went to vegas last week :)

no, we didn't get married haha

that is all.